tarik nafas ... and let it all go | |
Aku mengasihi dirimu dengan segenap hati, pikiran dan perasaan
Tak akan pernah sedetik pun terlewat tanpa bayangan dirimu
Suatu sosok yang penuh cinta, yang selalu memberikan
Sabar menanti hingga suatu saat akan datang
Dimana cinta kasih itu dapat berkembang
Sebagaimana mestinya Dan disaat ada cinta yg mengetarkan hati seperti ini
Akankah takdir membenci kita seperti dunia yang penuh cemburu
Aku tetap mencintaimu - walau tak sebanyak cintamu padaku
Aku tau kamu tau hal ini, dan kamu tetep mencintaiku. Happy birthday my brother.
GOD loves you. Sydney, January 03, 2007
My office - undisclosed location  | Update | Dec 23, '07 11:38 PM
for everyone |
Okey - the good news, satu project uda kelar. Tadi g barusan itung waktu buat billing. Sebenernya ga banyak2 amet, tapi berhubung g sering ga ada waktu (ato lebih tepatnya lagi, ga bisa menyisihkan waktu), makanya jadi lama banget baru kelar. Untungnya itu research supervisor g pas ngeliat email itu kira2 satu jam setelah g kirim. All is good - coz g janji buat kelarin project ini over the xmas break - and this is just the beginning of the break! Yeay. Another good news - g uda mulai fixing my phd. Iya, emank uda lolos semua, dan menurut supervisor g, alangkah baiknya kalo g fix up my thesis according to the comments that the examiners made. Lets just say the ones that I can do right now, I have finished. The other ones require a bit of reading of my phd stuff, yang pada saat ini masi tertinggal di canterbury. Ya uda lah. One of these days I gotta go there and just finish the whole editing. Trus di print. Hm, g jadi pengen tau, apakah ada funding buat printing. So far, my days have been very productive. I still have a list of people I have to catch up with, asli gila, hidup g belakangan ini bener2 hectic bgt. Tepatnya setelah g mulai kerja dikantor baru ini sih. Ya uda lah, we make the most of our lives. Bsok natal - dan g bakal pergi ke tempat nyokap. The thing about being a child of divorce is that everything is just so messy. Uda ga usah dibilang lagi complicated itu gimana. Belakangan ini g sering blg kan kalo g ga look forward to xmas. Sebenernya bukan cuma belakangan ini doank, tapi dari dulu2, lebih tepatnya lagi, sejak ortu g separate. Kenapa. Karena uda yakin jamin mutu ga akan bisa untuk spend time with all of them at the same time. Taon kemarin, bokap n nyokap kesini. Taon ini, g mesti ke tempat bio-mum g. Terus terang sih g ga tll kepengen untuk kesono, ini bakalan jadi sekedar formalitas doank. Blon lagi kalo dia undang temen2 dia yang laen dan buat sekedar ngasih liat g. GOD forbid that I have difficulties swallowing my food. Taon ini juga ada in-laws nya cc g pada ngumpul dirumah. Skrg mereka semua pada lagi keluar sih, thank GOD, I have peace and quiet at home. Ironis nya justru mereka ga ada disini disaat kerjaan g uda kelar - for now. hihihihihi... kapan sih hidup ini ga ironis? Belakangan ini g selalu ketemu dengan individu2 yang ngaku2 kalo dirinya simple dan orang laen semuanya ribet n ruwet abis. G jadi bengong. Sure you want to be simple, yet it does not mean that you are simple. I bet lots of people just dont get this simple thing (ironis kan) - and besides, why cant we just accept that we are complex and that life is complex and that many things in life we do not quite comprehend. That is why we have this thing called forgiveness. And believe it or not, when you forgive, it is not for the benefit of the other person, it is more for your own personal benefit. Why. Because it enables you to move on. Eniwei uda dech segini dulu. Terus terang g rada2 ngantuk dan sekarang masi jam 4 sore. Ya beginilah kalo kurang tidur. Abis uda dua hari belakangan ini, ada yang suka tarik2 selimut g sih... ... dan kumengerti mengapa dia engga ngeblog selama ini. "kalo g tulis semua... g ga tau apa yang akan g tulis" good things are difficult to come by - and they do come by. I think I am officially the laziest person today. Not just today, even the days before. Instead of walking around during my lunch break, I prefer to stay here and browse the net, reading the newspaper to be exact. Thank GOD for this thing called online publication. My lazy ass is contented to stay here and absorb the content. I could have scheduled lunch with my friends (whom I bet would be more than happy to make the trip downtown and have lunch with me, or even to take a break from their hectic schedule and spend some time chatting with me), yet I must admit that I prefer just staying here - spending time with myself. I am not sure why, but these days, I do not have the desire to go shopping. I like it a lot and I enjoy it, yet the last time I went shopping was on Sunday, and that was to buy a birthday gift. I battled my way through the crowd in Darling Harbour which was hosting an Asian Exhibition of some sort, complete with a bunch of Indian dudes dancing with their trademark Indian songs. And heck, they do know how to stop the crowd, with their ever so YELLOW outfit and well-coordinated decorations resembling a huge boat (there is shallow water body just beside it). After I managed to squeeze through, I went to continue my shopping expedition, went to like errr... 5 stores and could not find anything I like. My air tubes were congested because of the dry air and I was attacked by a bout of hayfever, thus continued the rest of the supposedly-pleasant journey sniffling. I dont know what is happening to me, yet lately the things that used to excite me no longer excite me as much. There are things that were exciting and are still exciting, of course, it is just that maybe I am getting sick with somethings. My birthday is coming in like errr... 12 days and I still havent come up with a list. Damn it, I didnt seem to recall this sort of difficulty last year. The first item on the list: Audi TT in shiny black - has now changed to Audit TT in hot pink aka fuschia. Real car is preferred, driving lessons will complete the deal. Remote control version is still acceptable for the time being. The second item on the list: the upgrade on the laptop with wireless connection was promised by my beloved father (yet to eventuate) and as I am wrapping my phd, I probably do not need something of such high caliber anyway, so this is very likely to be further deferred for sometime. I received the camera (although not shiny black), the substitute for the Black Labrador (Cassidy, the baby blue Unicorn), was denied the year supply of Rum n Raisin (due to health reasons). I bought myself some clothes and shoes (courtesy of my parents really, who spent the end of the year with me). My beloved brother promised me a blue GUESS handbag (to be claimed only when I am in LA). The last item - yes I received those too. So what would it be this year? The first item: Audit TT in Fuschia (as above)
The second: Trip to LA with all paid expenses (including shopping)
The third: Hm, shoes (correction, I am a size 7) and handbags (I am still very much in love with GUESS) So there goes. The list is much shorter this year. And yes, the last option still stands. I dont mind starting my own investment portfolio. Come to think of it, certain things in my life are yet to change. One of those things is my lack of desire to talk about Sport. I have been in this country for quite a while and I still do not see what is so interesting to talk about rugby, cricket and who knows what. My Dad plays golf, so I can relate to the excitement of achieving hole-in-one, and I used to play basket ball, so I don’t mind watching the game. I used to swim a lot so I am excited about swimming championships. I run a lot but I don’t really watch track and field championships. I don’t mind reading body building magazine and books – but I only do these occasionally. I just do not see why I should religiously watch every rugby or cricket game on TV – or even soccer for that matter. The exception is when I put my money on who will win – which has never happen, mind you, because I cannot see the point why I should bet while I can go shopping (he3). Or even crazier, why spend so much time watching “the game” while you can laze around between the sheet and have sex. Wakakakaka… I can understand for some sports fanatic out there, it is a necessity for them to watch the game, because I watch fashion shows for that very same reason: it is a necessity and it gives ideas as to how to dress. Yet for the average person who does not do that much sport (I am talking about those who do not do any sport at all) – really what is the point of watching. I guess this is going to be something that I do not understand from those people simply because I do not share their passion – the way they will not be able to understand why I read fashion magazine, watch fashion shows and shop all the time. Read this - you will be inspired. Or if you are too lazy to click (as is sometimes the case, then read below - it is exactly the same thing). 'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005. I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now. This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much. Sabtu siang, g dirumah aj. Ngaso. Abis beres2 n bersih2in rumah. Terkadang g suka ketawa sendiri soal pembagian tugas disini - totally non-existent. Yep, ga ada tu kita yg namanya bagi tugas, ato pun yg namanya rotasi. Ada jg masing2 individu inisiatip sendiri untuk rapi2 n beres2. So far so good sih - we are all responsible adults here. Semua pada tau diri. Semua pada toleransi. Paling males punya flat mate yg males nya setengah mampus. Ga cm gt, banyak jg yg males nya stengah mampus. Tadi pagi ujan. Skrg sih uda terang. Maksud hati, abis beres2 ya g jln2 dech, walk around, sekalian doing this thing called exercise. Eh malah kecantol internet, yg entah knp hr ini kok bs lbh cepet drpd kemarin2. G seh seneng2 aj n bersyukur, bete kan kl di rmh ga ada internet. Sampe segini ketergantungan g sm yg namanya technology. hueeee... Tapi g mesti akuin, belakangan ini, keinginan g untuk punya laptop baru kok ga muncul ya, padahal g uda pengen laptop baru dari kapan2 tauks. G yakin bgt, kl g minta bokap, dia pasti ngasih g (ga kuasa menolak permintaan si bontot :p) - dan lagi ultah g bakalan ntar lagi!!! hohohhoo... Im excited!!! hihiihih... Bos g tu org nya bae bgt. Asli. Uda gt pinter pula. G seneng bgt kerja disini. Secara jarang bgt bs punya bos yg pinter, bae, pengertian – dan so pasti ga sok tau. Selama g dikantor ini blon pernah g liat dia marah. Sampe tadi barusan. Itu pun g ga liat, g cm denger aj dia marah. Kenceng boooo suaranya. G sampe kaget2, satu kantor sampe jadi diem – stood still. Yang lebih gila nya lagi, dia tu enga marah ke kita yang di kantor sini. Ke kantor yang ditempat laen. Ato lebih tepat nya lagi, ke manager yg ada di kantor laen. Tadi siang sewaktu g lg lunch break g mikir, sebenernya g ini org nya aneh ato ga. G ngerti kl semua org pasti punya sesuatu yg unik hanya buat org itu sendiri – contoh neh ya, ada sebagian org suka maem pete (kaya bokap g tu) dan ada lagi org yg kaya g, ga mao nyentuh pete sama sekali. Jangankan nyentuh, nyium aj ga mao! Eniwei, g td tu mikir, ya in light of getting to know myself better, gimana sih reaksi g terhadap hal2 didalam hidup g. Ceritanya tu gini, dikantor bbrp hr yg lalu, disaat g lg dikejar projek ini (yg nota bene under very tight deadline dan nyebuat g kerja lembur blum lagi soal menyita kapasitas mental dan gairah kerja), ternyata team kita terbentur lagi sama halangan2 yg kita ga bs liat seblumnya. Jadi g blg ke bos tersayang: “we have an issue … bla bla bla bla bla”. Asli semua yg lg ada disitu sampe ketawa – kapan sih enga ada yg namanya issue. Bisa ga sih ide kita tu lolos tanpa benturan. Pada akhirnya, kalo uda begini, kt malahan berterimakasih bahwa problem itu di pick-up dari team internal. Bos g dgn gokil nya nanya ke g: “are you frustrated?” G jawab “no – just peeved”. Emank bener sih, I don’t get frustrated easily. It takes me a lot to be frustrated. Yeah – semangat tahan banting dunksss!!! And a lot of these so-called peeves in life I deal with relatively easily. If I don’t think it is worth my effort, then I will ignore it – g buang jauh2 supaya g ga usah liat lage. Jadi tu kalo g sampe marah, itu berarti uda keterlaluan bgt. Ini secara g ga suka marah2 – bikin g cape n bete ga jelas. It is emotionally tiring to be angry – and I much prefer to conserve my emotional energy and focusing on doing other things. Dan didalam hal ini, g berbeda dari yg namanya typical female – yang trademark-nya kebanyakan berwujud dlm kegemaran untuk melakukan satu hal yang namanya complain over everything, dgn kata lain, cerewet. Hihihihi… jgn marah ya, g sndiri jg cewe, dan g yakin bgt bahwa ada hal2 yang g pasti super sangat cerewet – hanya aj mungkin hal2 yg g cerewetin itu lebih sedikit drpd hal2 yang biasanya dicerewetin sm cewe2 in general. Oleh karena hal ini jg g sering dibilangin “kaya cowo” – secara aspek dari diri g yg ini adalah mirip cowo – ga sering complain, but kl uda complain, sekali aj, n itu pun pasti super bete. Hihihi. Jadi inget bokap yg marahnya jarang2 but sekali marah, huadooohhh… Tmn2 g rata2 tau sifat g yg satu ini – yeah sebagian besar tau sih. Yang ga tau, ya itu menurut g rada2 kebangetan. Ato sebagian org bisa tau sifat org tu gmn, sedangkan org2 yg laen ya tetep aj ga ngerti, dan mao dikasi tao sesering apa pun tetep aj ga ngerti secara mrk org nya bukan begitu. Bukan mao sombong – kalo seandainya org itu goblok dan dia ga ngerti, ya uda lah, apa bole buat. Tapi org yg ngaku pinter dan ga ngerti – itu sih namanya kebangetan. Ato g aj yg org nya males toleransi sm org2 yg sok pinter? Yeah, another side of me p.s. internet dirumah ga jalan neh – download limit nya uda mentok… skrg jd pelan bgt, walaupun kita pake ADSL tapi serasa pake dial-up, dan bahkan lbh pelan drpd dial-up. Damn it, mana wknd ini g mestinya do some work lagee - huadooohhhhhhhhh The only way to be happy is to choose to be happy - and to work at being happy: if you work at it, it becomes a habit. Just like any other form of work, it requires persistence, great timing and an investment in "meaning in goals that we adapt to less easily" - things such as "learning a language, taking up exercise, trying to be more forgiving, or focusing on spiritual or philosophical beliefs (well known happiness boosters)". Read more about it here. I have always believed that there is nothing in this world we cant learn. Belle,
Never forget the post on Nov 5, what was written there, and all the emails preceeding and following those posts, and the posts preceeding those posts. It is not just sometimes you need to be your own hero and save yourself; ALL THE TIME, you MUST to be your own hero and save yourself. Regards,
X Preamble:
Some say that insanity is the trademark of life - or rather, my life. So much so to the extent that those closest to me would no longer scream "WHAT" in disbelief, rather, a simple "OMG. Cant they just give you a break?" "Kenapa sih orang2 tu errornya setengah mampus. Bukannya kalo mao error tu sebenernya adalah eloe?" Yeah, so I wonder too.
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A Contemplation of You, that Night and the Story of Our Lives A lot of things are beyond my powers. These are the things outside my circle of influence, things that will happen irrespective of what I do or dont do. At times, although it is clear that those things are out of my hands, it is difficult to let those go... I still ask myself over and over again as to what happened that night. Did I miss anything? Did I not see it coming? I dreaded being in the same room and not giving you 100% of my attention and every single day I ask myself if that was one of the contributory factors to your suicide attempt. I have been trying to re-play our conversation and everything seems like a big blur, what was it that you were trying to tell me, and why did I not see that. What happened recently makes me question the quality of relationships that I have with the people in my life. Sure there are those who see me on a regular basis, albeit not everyday, nor every week, yet as often as we can, and we converse on a regular basis, again, as often as we can. Then there are those who were close to me for a period of time, and will forever be in my heart; although we do not converse on a regular basis, everytime we meet, it seems like yesterday that we just saw each other. The warmth, the love, the affection, everything is still there, plus a little bit more. We grow separately, yet together. We share a bond that no one else shares, each one is unique and of a special kind. The people who know that I am going to be there and I will stand by them no matter what happen. The people whom I know are going to be here for me and stand by me no matter what happen. The people with whom I never have this kind of conversation, except as affirmations in times of need, usually done when I am about to leave overseas for an extended period of time. The people whom I miss with all my heart and I love with all my life, the people who know this even before I tell them. The people who will close their eyes and nod when I tell them that I love them, and with a smile will tell me that they love me and then embrace me in the warmest hug ever imaginable. A promise to always be close in each others' hearts. I am not sure which category she falls under - because although we were close for a period of time, it was more of the resultant effect of hanging out with the same crowd. We keep in touch, minimally, mostly through friends of friends of friends (read: the gossip network) and were indirectly updated with each others' lives. We never pretended that we were close, we never pretended that we were not close. We are just what we are. I so want to be angry with you - and in a lot of ways, I am angry with you. What you did was despicable and appalingly unbelievable, and I cannot believe that you were capable of something like that. It does change my opinion on you and I dont think I can ever think of you the same way again. What I hate most is this overwhelming emotion of helplessness, an emptiness, an inability to understand you and an unwillingness to accept what happened... just one of the many things beyond my control. My dear friend, I wish you enough. I may not be there for you, and I wish you a good life, a strength to live and courage to continue live the way it deserves to be lived. **************************************************
Post Script
A lot of times, I question myself. I question why I choose to do certain things. I question why I did certain things. It is a perpetual self assessment that I automatically do, before and after I commence my course of action. Those closest to me would know that I do this, but they are rarely involved in the process. Simply because this is an intimately personal process, one that I would share with noone but myself. I seek to better myself in all aspects, to further develop my strengths and to overcome my weaknesses and to continuously extend myself in ways I never thought were possible. | The End | Nov 1, '07 6:17 AM
for everyone |
Guys, please. No more hostility. This is not just a blog. This is MY blog. If you want to write crap, you can write it in YOUR blog.
If you dont like what he wrote, DELETE it.
This is not a forum for democracy. he3 We are just human beings, with flaws and mistakes. We should treat each other with respect and dignity.
This IS the end. Uh. Seharian di kantor. Dan selama sibuk mengetik (diatas Word document tentunya) ga ada yang menyangka kalo g lg ga ngapa2in. Walaupun sebenernya lebih bagus untuk menulis dlm bhs inggris, tapi yach secara mao latihan. Kadang g pengen tau, sejak dari g mulai nulis dlm bhs indo sejak kira2 setahun yg lalu, apakah tulisan g uda tambah bagus. Ato masi kaku seperti dulu. Kemarin malem g ktm sm Mel. Kangen jg dgn dirinya. Temen g satu ini yang super cakep dan selalu banyak cerita, mao jg untuk bela2in ke downtown sekedar dinner n shopping sm g. Disaat laper2nya, sewaktu masuk ke toko sepatu lgsg lupa segalanya. Dasar cewe! Belakangan ini g uda jarang bgt nulis. Yah secara g masi dlm tahap2 pindah, separo barang2 g masi di rmh g yg lama, sebagian uda di rmh yg baru. Kembali tinggal di apt, ya engga di tengah kota sih, cm dkt aj. Rental market semakin gila2an aj. Downtown apt g yg dulu skrg sewanya uda jadi $450/minggu. Sadis jg kl dipikir2, untung aj g uda ga tinggal disono. Yah gimana ya, asyik sih tinggal disana. Kemana2 deket, walaupun g mesti akuin, waktu g tinggal disana, g malah lbh sering di rumah, phding. Well, it was nice while it lasted. G jd mikirin lg soal yg namanya cinta. Ini mungkin gara2 apa yg Mel blg kmrn “I cried for myself”. Ya bole aj sih Mel, asal jgn lama2 gt. Though I cant help wishing that I could cry for myself too. G sll merasa sangat sulit utk yg namanya putus bae2. Heh, mana ada sih – putus dimana kedua belah pihak merasa emank utk sebaiknya mrk putus dan tetep ms berteman dgn bae. Hm, g sih mao kalo ada yg begitu, tapi sejauh ini blon ada tu. Selalu aj ada yg namanya sakit – bahkan buat pihak yg menginginkan hal tsb. Menurut g sih, kedua belah pihak pasti merasa sakit. Yang lebih sadis nya lagi, alternatif dari hal ini (tetap pacaran), jg menyakitkan bagi pihak yg menginginkan putus. Ato mungkin g ini idealist sekali? [Emank bener sih ada sebagian cowo yg bener2 brengsek bgt dang a perduli aj soal jadi ato putus – apalagi soal putus. Bagi mereka, cewe hanyalah pelampiasan napsu belaka – habis manis, sepah dibuang. Makanya cowo tu emank rata2 buaya semua.] Bagi g, salah satu hal yang penting di dalam suatu hubungan adalah kepercayaan. Disaat g uda ga bs percaya sm org itu, disaat itu jg g tau bahwa hubungan itu pasti akan hancur. Cepat ato lambat. Dan ini bukan hanya dlm hal percintaan, tapi dlm segala hal. G paling ga tahan sm org yg ngebohongin g. Mendingan g ga usah deket2 dech sm org itu. Jadi tadi malam (ato pagi), terpikir lg ttg dirinya. Yang paling g benci dr hal ini adalah, pada waktu itu, g kasian sm dia. Dari rasa kasian ini, jadi ketergantungan. Bukannya dia malahan jadi lebih kuat setelah diberikan support (yang bermaksud sementara), yg terjadi adalah ketergantungan. Sampai detik ini, dia sll blg kl ms banyak dampak2 dr hal itu yg membuat dia blm spt dulu lagi. Bedanya, kl waktu dl g kasian sm dia, dan g berpikir, ya udalah, g bantu sebentar, sampai dia kuat lg dan bs untuk sendiri, g jd males utk melakukan hal yg sama – secara kebaikan g di-abuse abis2an. Pasti dia punya banyak justifikasi dan alasan2, dan hal2 itu uda ga mempan sm g dech. Dan uda pasti, trademarknya dia, org laen semua terseret2 ke dlm hal ini – walaupun sebenernya apa lagi sih yg mesti dibicarakan, dan uda diblg dr dulu2, bahwa g ga suka akan hal ini. Some people just never change. Nobody wants to wake up if they don’t want to – even when they have asked you to wake them up. | Sesuatu | Oct 22, '07 3:17 AM
for everyone |
Akhirnya di hari Minggu siang, kita membicarakan hal tersebut. Untuk pertama kalinya, tidak ada kemarahan, hanya ada air mata. Untuk pertama kalinya saya mengakui bahwa tidak ada lagi kemarahan, hanya ada kesedihan. Ada banyak hal di hidup ini yang menyakitkan, disebabkan oleh keegoisan seseorang yang mestinya mencintai kita. Dan kita bisa mengerti mengapa mereka melakukan hal tersebut, dan itu tidak membuat semuanya jadi baik, tidak membuat perbuatan mereka itu benar. Tetap saja, pada akhirnya, mereka telah menyakiti kita – dan kita tau (dan mungkin mereka juga tau) bahwa itu adalah kesalahan. Walaupun kita sakit, kita memilih untuk memaafkan mereka agar hidup kita bisa tenang dan bebas dari kemarahan yang menggebu2. Diskusi tentang topik tersebut adalah sesuatu yang telah saya antisipasi sejak beberapa bulan yang lalu, dan juga merupakan sesuatu yang kamu ingin pertanyakan sejak dulu. Saya mengatakan sesuatu yang saya rasakan dan pikirkan, dan maafkan jika saya tidak mempertanyakan apa yang kamu rasakan dan pikirkan. Tidak disaat itu, sayang, karena saya mungkin tidak dapat menahan semuanya. Ada banyak hal di hidup ini yang kita ingin ubah dan tidak bisa untuk kita ubah karena itu semua telah terjadi. Banyak orang tidak mengerti mengapa, dan mereka memiliki konsepi2 untuk bagaimana seharusnya kita bertindak. Mereka tidak tahu apa yang mereka perbuat, dan mereka tidak akan pernah tau apa yang semestinya mereka perbuat. Ini adalah sesuatu yang tidak benar dan tidak akan bisa untuk dijustifikasi, walaupun sebaiknya dimaafkan. Agar kita bisa berjalan kedepan dan berfokus dengan apa yang ada didepan, dan menghargai apa yang ada disekeliling kita. … belakangan ini, ada sesuatu dihidup saya yang saya sudah nantikan dari tiga tahun yang lalu. Bukan hanya sesuatu sih, tapi ada banyak hal2 yang ada dihidup saya sekarang ini yang saya inginkan dari lebih dari tiga tahun yang lalu. Akhirnya ada juga ini semua. Dan rasanya ini adalah mimpi. Disaat saya ke kantor tiap hari, dan saya suka pergi ke kantor pagi2 sekali, ya karena kantor saya ini uda penuh disaat jam 8 pagi. Saya suka dikantor sampai sore, walaupun sebenernya saya ga usah untuk lama2 dikantor. | Bayangan | Oct 15, '07 11:02 PM
for everyone |
... dan bayangan itu muncul kembali, against all will, against all might. Disaat yang tidak diduga, didalam keadaan yang sangat tidak memungkinkan. Dan apabila mereka memang benar, maka ini adalah sesuatu yang harus dihindari. Sungguh tidak dapat dipungkiri lagi, memang harus untuk dihindari. Ditinggalkan dan dilempar jauh ke ujung bumi, dilepaskan dan dihempaskan diatas gelombang agar seluruh pedih dan lara ditenangkan, walaupun hanya sesaat. Bayang-bayang selalu ada, seolah2 meningatkan diri akan indahnya waktu2 bersama dengan dirinya. Keinginan untuk bersama yang menggebu2 dan kembali menusuk lara, keinginan yang kelihatannya tidak dapat menjadi realitas, paling tidak disaat2 sekarang ini. Eniwei, tadi pagi g mulai tulis ini, dan ga bs kelar secara g uda dikantor dan mesti kelar kerja. Hari ini lumayan sih, uda mulai sibuk. Dan g emank lebih demen untuk sibuk dikantor, daripada ga ngapa2in gt - kalo sibuk itu g dipaksa untuk lebih effisien, dan beginilah caranya g bs develop personally. Sebagian org blg, kalo g ini memaksa diri yang berlebihan. G rasa engga tu - biasa aj. Uda biasa kaya begini, kalo ga begini malahan jadi aneh rasanya. Belakangan ini sering ngobrol soal superannuation. Kalo di Indo, dipanggil apa ya? Dana pensiun? Ya ga tauks dech, pokoknya itu semacem savings/investment plan buat di hari tua, yang ga bole diambil seblon uda umur 60 ato 65.It is a compulsory thing, from our salary, biasanya sih 9%. Kalo buat academics 17% from employer, 7% from employee - jadi academics tu rata2 hidup sekarang super broke, dan uda pensiun jadi kaya bgt. Sebenernya ga banyak sih yg g pikirin ttg superanuation, selain strategy yg g mesti pilih tu secara g masi muda, yg high risk - yeh, high risk high return kan. Padahal kalo bole dibilang, g itu org nya rada2 risk adverse jg kali, buktinya tu g ga mao ke kasino, dan kalo pun g pergi, g ga mao gamble - biarpun g uda dikasi chips for free, asli g mendingan shopping! Yeh, emank beginilah diri g, the only risk i would take is this thing called calculated risk. huaahhahaha... emank ada gt? ya siapa tau? Disaat2 g sendiri, g kembali mempertanyakan arti kehidupan. Sebenernya kita ini hidup buat apa sih? Itu aj dech yg g pengen tau, sampe skrg g blon dapet jawabnya. G ga kepengen utk deket dgn seseorang, thanks to u know what, dan walaupun g deket dgn seseorang, g rasa g ga mao tu utk berhubungan secara serius dgn dia. I just cant see myself that way. And i dont think this is a function of independence, although im not sure what are the factors affecting this. Jikalau g tau, mungkin g ga akan bertanya2 lagi kali. Katanya sih those who are forewarned are forearmed. Sedikit banyak g bs lihat bahwa emank banyak kebenarannya, dan tetep aj ga membuat segala sesuatu lebih mudah, tetep sulit, tetep susah, tetep sakit, hanya kita aj tau bahwa kita bakal sakit. Terkadang pengetahuan ini membuat kita lebih sabar dan lebih tabah, ataupun kita sakit, kita bisa siap2 supaya sakit nya ga parah2 banget dan kita bisa pulih ya hopefully dalam waktu yg lbh cepat. Dan tetep aj ga ada jaminan. Paling pusing kalo kita sampe jadi stress gara2 hal tsb. Uda produktivitas turun, jadi sakit pula, bete pula - dan tetep aj mesti hadepin semua. Ada banyak orang yg lari. Dulu g jg begitu - dan mungkin sampe sekarang masi jg, g demen bgt lari kemana2. Anything but here. Segala sesuatu g lakukan supaya g ga usah berhadapan dgn hal itu. Lagi g tanyakan sm diri g, apakah g lg berlari skrg? Rasanya sih enga - karena hal ini g hadapin sebisa2nya g, walaupun banyak hal yg g lakukan yg sepertinya memberikan impresi bahwa g ini melarikan diri. I call these coping mechanisms - hal2 yang g lakukan supaya g bs menerima kenyataan dan bs hidup dgn kenyataan ini. Duh, kesannya dalam bgt ya. Percaya dech, g sndiri ga tll ngerti jg logic nya sebenernya apa, dan hal ini lah yg g rasakan disaat2 ini. Untung aj g ada kerjaan baru dan bs untuk melakukan banyak hal di kerjaan ini. Kalo enga, matilah g. hueee. Kemarin dulu ada yg blg kl g ini dramatis. G jd bengong sndiri - emank g ini dramatis? Rasanya sih biasa aj. Akh, lagian dramatis itu relative kan? Disaat2 sekarang ini, adakah hal2 lain yg bisa dilakukan selain move on - hidup terus berjalan, dan kita harus terus berjalan, karena waktu tidak akan berhenti dan menunggu kita. Akh, its this thing called life. And I am beginning to realise, that love is very much a part of it, despite the lack of credit I have been giving it in the past few months. The weatherman warned us of a rainy day since yesterday. The morning was deceivingly warm with sunshine and the morning walk that caused slight glandular activities. It was a slow walk to the office, thanks to the high heels that make her feel on top of the world – literally – since that means she is taller than she would otherwise have been. They have agreed to meet for lunch since two weeks ago – he was bored at the office, she was foreseeing a lunch break somewhere around where he works. Instead, it turned out that he made his way to her office so that they could have lunch near by, thanks to his unusually flexible schedule. Indeed, he is a man of class "I don't want food court, I want restaurant" – in the nicest way possible, of course; in fact it was rather flattering. Ah, special treatment always gets you somewhere in the good books. The Grace Café was jammed pack and oddly inviting at the same time. The high ceilings and bright atmosphere, the thick glass windows that blocks the traffic noise – prawn mango salad for her, and bangers and mash for him, iced chocolate and sparkling mineral water; and the sinful sticky date pudding with caramelised banana that tasted like heaven. Sugar hit in the middle of the day? Any day! As if the day can't get any more interesting, suddenly it was pouring, and it eased for a while, before deciding to pour again as he was walking me back to my office. The umbrella I have been carrying for three days finally served its intended function and sheltered us from the rain. It was wet and slippery and it was a rushed walk back to the office, a quick thank you and a promise to return the umbrella at the end of the day. And an invite to go for more sugar hit tonight, with a bunch of our friends. We have known each other since our uni days. While we have never been close, defined in the sense of hanging out regularly, we have something in common that will never escape the rest of our lives: the (Hons) at the end of our qualifications. The one thing that we know we will never do again for the rest of our lives – thank you very much, thanks but no thanks. We were reminiscing the days – and the present: he has changed a lot, for the better of course. He is a lot more social and outgoing, and seems to be the coordinator of social calendar, contrary to the nerd that I met back in the days. While me, well, according to him, I haven't changed, I remain the baby of the group, the one who does not age at all. I thank him for the ever so generous compliment, while silently making a mental note to be more professional in carrying myself. Typical of the majority of Asian background twenty-something year olds, we discussed two things that are seemingly related: (1) fortune telling and (2) life partnership. According to him, 70% of our lives is fate-determined (and can be picked up by fortune telling), while the remaining 30% is self-determined (and require some sort of effort and/or work on our behalf). While I am not sure how much of that I would believe, insofar as that stuff is good stuff, I have no problem believing whatsoever. Besides, our lives are as good as we make it – we are almost the masters of our own destiny. This morning I read an article about the impact of negatives overpowering the impact of the positives. While that seems to be quite the norm in today's world, it does not mean that it should hinder our relentless pursuit towards better lives. Ironically enough, the concept of "better lives" is actually relative. For me, the awareness of one wanting a better life is a good start – really – because with that comes a realisation that we are capable of performing something that we think is better than what we were performing before. This is a crucial step, and of course, it is not enough. It must be followed by this thing called action, which tend to speak a lot louder than what words can ever express. It is exactly for this reason that I choose to remain positive and to do everything within my power to be positive, including to be surrounded by positive people. While we are both are not exactly passionate yet about our jobs, we are contented – in the sense that we are not bored by it yet. Ask me the same question in three months, and I may change my answer. And again, for the umpteenth time this week, I realise the discriminating element of positive attitude. You don't have to be the most handsome guy in the planet or earn the most money; rather, your attitude will determine where you are in life. I am sure that the most powerful of people alive are positive and passionate and even compassionate. Thus, I believe that it is when you consciously make the decision to demonstrate those qualities that you shine brighter than the rest and everything else will follow. Herein lies my gratitude for the presence of inspiring people in my life. Hm, akhirnya hari ini berlalu jg. Setelah kemarin malem susah boboks, ya karena suasana baru. Yeah, g uda pindah ke Pyrmont skrg, walaupun kebanyakan barang2 g masi nitip di Canterbury. Berat sih beratttt... hueee... for reasons yet un-articulated. Teringat artikel Bazaar nya si Mel, bikin g terharu terus ya Mell... walaupun sekali ini bener2 serendipity. Cuplikannya sbb: No one is perfect, and remember that life is complex. To me, everyone is allowed room for mistakes - and this is not relevant to maturity. Sometimes elders reprimand their young ones because they did something wrong. In reality, do parents really know what's right and what's wrong? In the end, it is all relative - as even parents are imperfect human beings. Therefore, aging is not debatable, but maturity is a choice. Sometimes we can only wait for the right moment to come. When we are energized and moral support from our social circle approves so, or as simple as our boredom of the painstaking situation. Not everyone likes waiting, some people create their own moment. That's a bold choice.
Why is being broken hearted never easy? Because we are used to being around him/her, and once the feeling grows, it is hard to want others. And when we are being spoiled with all of these choices, that's where comfort it. In todays life, comfort is truly an expensive place to afford. And the thing with our past is, was it comfortable or not? And do we have the courage to leave that comfort zone to step ahead into (maybe) something better..?
But then again, no one really knows the true meaning of life until we go through it. Yes, they all say, don't regret it later. But isn't that sometimes the only thing that we feel? So, as long as it's still fun and enjoyable, why run and hide? But when it starts to kill, that's when you should step out slowly or sprint away. Apart from that, we ought to let it flow. Sometimes the only thing we can enjoy is pain.
They say that you need to let go of your past so that you can be all that you can be in the future. Maybe all that you need to do is to just walk away and look back when you have walked far enough and long enough - only to remember how far you have become. Maybe being different is not that bad afterall, it remains the one thing that makes you stand out in a crowd. Deciding to be different, well that is a totally different issue altogether. When you consciously choose to be different from the crowd, doing the things that you are not that sure is the best for you, but you are sure is not the worst for you - when you have to take a position on the gamble of life, will you put your highest bet, will you want to maximise the fruits of the matter by giving it all? That is exactly what happens when you are giving your best to everything in your life. Every moment, every opportunity, every time - and to derive satisfaction regardless of the outcome. When you have thought it through and you have lived it well, when you know that you can say that it was the best given the time and circumstances - and that there is nothing else that you could have done differently that would have influenced the outcome. When all is given and the faith takes its course, and life brings you to unpredictable places you know you can enjoy if you choose to do so. And when the finger of blame is no longer pointing at anything or anyone, when you know that what happened happened, and you accept it with open hearts and open minds, no animosity, no remorse - and nothing else; only then being different makes a differences, for you have lived for you, and you alone. *********************************************************** Maksud hati sih hari ini (minggu) g pindah ke pyrmont, tempat cc g tu, yeh bakal lbh dkt ke down town, yg so pasti lbh convenient jg. The downside, g bakal tinggal di ruang tamu, aka studio apt. Ya sutra lah, g jg ga tll pusing sih soal ini, walaupun banyak bgt tmn2 g yg pada tau semua pada kaget: emank loe bs untuk ga ada privacy kaya gt? Heh, dulu mungkin g setuju, tp belakangan ini enga tu - lagian, who cares sih, cm buat tempat tinggal, dgn sebagian besar waktu yg bakal dihabiskan dikantor, di rmh plg cm ngaso n bobo. Kalopun emank mesti kerja di rmh, yg satu ini g uda buktikan, kl dgn fasilitas minimal g jg bs kelarin kerjaan tsb. G rasa, selama 7 bln terakhir ini, g uda ga take pride in my living space, its just a living space. Yg penting rapi, aman, comfortable, ga tll panas kl summer, dan ga tll dingin kl winter. G bs bobo di queen sized bed dan ada internet connection, dan of course, cukup tempat buat naroh barang2 yg g pake sehari2. Ya uda begitu aj. Kalo dua ato tiga taon yg lalu, g pasti teriak dgn arrangement kaya gini - secara g tinggal di one bedroom apt, downtown, central, hueh. Kurang apa lagi sih. Ternyata, i was pretty spoiled before. Damn! Tapi yg pasti sih, g males bgt utk tinggal sendirian. Ntah knp, walaupun g suka bgt utk ada yg namanya peace di rmh, g ga pengen utk plg ke apt yg kosong - sepi tauks, dan bikin depresi. Eh nga sih, enak sih enak, cm utk skrg ini, itu bkn yg g mao. Ya uda sih begitu aj. Feedback yg g dapet selama ini - semua rata2 berpendapat g ini rada error, tp semua sih respect keputusan g, walaupun mrk pd ga setuju dgn cara blg: kl g jd eloe g sih ga bakal begitu, bla bla bla. Ya uda lah, so g emank beda dari eloe org semua, dari dulu jg g beda dr loe org semua. If I ask you whether you would do the phd, would you do it? And the answer is: no. But me, im different from the rest of you - and i will always be different. And guess what: I like the status-quo! I told her yesterday that I used to be really pissed everytime a so-called friend ended up talking about me behind my back. But these days, I just let it go. Most of the time, I cant be bothered publicly reacting to such unjustified act. Yesterday, I got a confirmation as to whether my suspicions as to the source of the rumours were true. Damn, I am good at this! Upon reassessment, I guess I was wrong to trust this back-stabbing friend ever so freely; fact is that appearance can be very deceiving. But I have to admire her ability to look at me in the eye and lie her guts out, to make me think that she was there for me... not. All while painting the picture that she is someone who is lousy at hiding the truth. Lately I form this opinion that if one is indeed sincere and true, then one's action will speak for itself. If one has to clarify one's intentions by pointing out that one has good intentions that are often misinterpreted, that is supposed to be a warning sign as to whether that person really has good intentions or not. Or perhaps that person has good intentions and a thousand other hidden intentions, and has deliberately chosen to reveal parts of his/her intentions. To me this constitutes fraud and manipulation. I refuse to be manipulated in any way - especially that way. "Maybe, she is jealous of you." Join the Schadenfreude club. This article is written in response to HE-the-astonishingly-uneducated by TLT.
Please read TLT's article before reading this article. Ah, the academic freedom. Wikipedia defines "academic freedom" as "the freedom of teachers, students, and academic institutions to pursue knowledge wherever it may lead, without undue or unreasonable interference" (emphasis added). In the day-to-day academic life, this freedom comes in the form of the freedom to teach whatever and how-ever in the classroom and to research whatever and how-ever. Thus an academic is given the ability to both teach and research without restrain - thus the notion of "freedom". The academic community is a self-regulated territory, welcoming everybody regardless of language, race and religion, and thrives at intellectual discourses; the self-regulatory aspect arising from the ability of one to convince some, or most of the members of the community. Or if one cant do so successfully, at the very minimal, one should challenge the prevalent ideas and proposing ways to fill the gaps in knowledge.* I firmly believe that one of the successful outcomes of academic engagement is an open mind. Afterall, this is what universities are all about - you are encouraged to analyse and understand the underlying concepts surrounding the ideas that most people take for granted; and to take it one step further by criticising those ideas and proposing a different solution, be it in the form of a brand-new methodology or a modification of an exisiting one. In essense, you are polishing your learning skills: learning how to learn - in so doing, gaining a universal skill that would allow you to survive anywhere doing anything. Just like any kinds of freedom, at times, this freedom is prone to abuse. In the spirit of academic freedom, one may choose to be provocatively blunt and become an extremist. Academics do have the right to do this insofar as they are not representing the view of the institutions themselves. Just like any other person in the street is allowed to think and say whatever they want, the same goes for academics. Except that, when a nobody in the street calls the president (of any country) an idiot (or brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated), nobody will pay attention to him/her. When a nobody in the street asks the president aggravating questions which hinges on the borderline of insulting and endangering political relations, nobody will pay attention to him/her. These events will not make it to the news and will be brushed off just an ordinary event, where those people are ignored-as-they-do-not-know-what-they-are-saying. But when a university professor does those things, and other potentially intoxicating things, it is a different story altogether. He/She cannot just get away with it - because he/she is expected to be different from the average crowd. Afterall, isnt education supposed to open one's mind? An open mind does not mean that you should possess no opinion whatsoever. An open mind allows you to formulate opinions when those opinions are informed - and you are willing to hear what other people have to say and take those things into account. If there is anything that I learn from reading the debate, that would be (1) the need to be articulate and eloquent (love how those guys choose their words); and (2) the lesson of never attack the person, just the ideas. And of course, to keep an open mind. *This observation is based on my very limited engagement and participation in the academic community. p.s. This article deliberately stays clear from discussions and debates on the different point of views of both parties (the President of Columbia University, Lee Bollinger and the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad) or what is the correct way to host an invited guest of honour, or even whether universities should set their own standards as to who is allowed to speak in its public forums. | |
